He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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