Those balls look pretty dangerous.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
