I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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