Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
