How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize