brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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