You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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