I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
