im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
