He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
