it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
