a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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