He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
