Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
