are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Randomize
