I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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