Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
