are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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