Moan for me like Helen Keller
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I will be naked everywhere
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
