Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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