I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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