What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
