Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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