Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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