im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
