Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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