he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She's not a foreskin expert like you
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
