That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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