so that wasnt chicken after all
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
