they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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