I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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