This girl is more easily done than said...
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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