is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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