Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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