i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
