amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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