jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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