Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
