thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
