margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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