Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
