I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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