I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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