Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
