Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
