like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
