don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
it was like eating out sand paper
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
