she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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