I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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