is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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