I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
