Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
