So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
