The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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