Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
