I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
