these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
