Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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