the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
