um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
