you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
even my farts smell like vagina
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
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