:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
