He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
